Anti-Oppressive Communication Webinar
with Autumn Brown + Maryse Mitchell-Brody
Icarus Project
cultivating a community of mindfulness, taking refuge in the full embrace of spiritual companions, nurturing safe, sacred space
Some folks may not quite understand why the stakes are so high for me and those I love.
I am aware of my privileges:
I am educated. I attended a private boarding school and a private university where I earned both a Bachelor’s and a Master’s degree.
I am a U.S-born person whose 1st language is English.
I am a cis-gendered heterosexual.
I am married.
I do not live with a disability.
I also embody a space where the targeted and marginalized aspects of my identity make me vulnerable to practices, policies, and dominant cultural beliefs that have denied or would attempt to block my humanity as well as my civil rights:
I am a Black Woman.
I am the daughter of an immigrant.
My father is from Trinidad. His family has roots throughout the Caribbean.
The great-granddaughter of immigrants.
My maternal great-grandparents were Canadian.
The great-great granddaughter of an immigrant.
My maternal great-great grandmother was a German Jew who married a former slave and Civil War veteran.*
I am the mother of a bi-racial, multi-ethnic child.
I am the wife of a man who has a disability.
We live on a fixed income.
I am a Buddhist.
I am committed to the path of compassion and liberation for myself and others.
I come from generations of women who have held positions of service in the social work, education, and public health fields.
It’s in my DNA to give a damn.
I know and love people who are targeted and vulnerable.
I know and love people who know and love people who are targeted and vulnerable:
Immigrants, non-native English speakers, lesbian, gay, same-gender loving, transgender, gender non-conforming, elderly, poor, uneducated, disabled, Muslim, Jewish, of other non-JudeoChristian faiths, atheist, agnostic and more…
I have every reason to be mad and every reason to wish to protect myself and those I love from harm! I am committed to social justice, equity, and reconciliation. It takes emboldened truth-telling. Even as I uphold the criteria for skillful communication, I will not be silent or soft to make anyone feel more comfortable.
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*For the curious or surprised, I offer two insights:
The family history I compiled and the regional ancestry results of my genographic test, which my reflect a genetic composition that is 65% Sub-Saharan African, 13% Mediterranean, 12% North European, 5% South African, 5% Southwest Asian.
I share these results not to diminish my Blackness but to illustrate interdependence and just how bound to one another we are.
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A Few Places To Start:

It’s astonishing that people are actually coming out of their faces to say that voters didn’t intend to cause harm or to condone violence when they elected a demagogue.
Please tell me what multiverse are you living in?
That man’s racist, homophobic, misogynistic, xenophobic, anti-Muslim, anti-disabled, anti-poor, anti-everybody-who-has-a-heart-for-what-is-just-and-equitable rants were not whispered behind closed doors and later leaked into the public sphere after folks were good-and-bamboozled by his charisma and hope-filled messages.
He was loud, boisterous and unapologetic about his oppressive views. He attracted and continues to be endorsed, lauded, now flaunted and paraded by white supremacists with confederate flags, swastikas, and full KKK regalia.
The hate and violence that fueled the campaign has escalated since Tuesday.
His “win” has become a “license to lynch” — with numerous accounts of children, women, LGBTQ persons being physically attacked, taunted, harassed and threatened.
(I will not link those articles here. Instead, I encourage you to take good care of your mental/emotional well-being with your consumption of these images and stories. You can be informed without overexposing yourself to the toxicity).
I’m intelligent enough to get it. I’m committed to skillful understanding and have the capacity to see through my outrage and fear to look into theirs.
I know they felt seen, heard, and understood for the first time by, unfortunately, a “pulls-no-punches,” plain (and vulgar) language-talking reality-tv tycoon who, unlike the career politicians we’re accustomed to, doesn’t fit neatly into the shiny 4-cornered presidential candidate box.
Yes, our system is broken. Yes, it often feels like two steps forward, 10 back.
But you can’t set my house on fire just because you think it’s a raggedy eyesore blocking your view, then say “whoopsie!” when you realize I was still inside.
(By the way, the flames are raging because you keep adding more accelerant.)
What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul?
–Matthew 16:26 NIV
Now here comes the cultural gaslighting — from the passive-aggressive (“We’ve survived 44 other presidents. It’s not the end of the world.”) to the outright manipulative dismissals and trivializations (“You’re exaggerating. It’s not that bad.”). In. The. Face. Of. Facts!
Beyond the undeniable evidence of these egregious acts of violence, there remain personal truths. And, I refuse to let you tell me what my experience is or should be.
Own your actions. Own the consequences of your vote.
If you voted for hate, just look me in the eye and say: Fuck you, Tara, and every breath that you take! so I know where we stand.
Understand that with your vote, you were willing to risk not just relationships with people you know and love, but to also risk the safety and very basic human rights to millions of people who, like you, simply want to live.
You cannot be surprised or offended that relationships have been lost or compromised.
You wanted more for yourself? You got it!
Look across the table to the empty seat.
Feast on what remains when your friends, neighbors, and family decline your invitation to break bread. They deserve to protect themselves from being exposed to the consequences of your self-interest.
And if you’re in any way moved by their absence, it’s time to examine your discomfort.
If not, well, then enjoy the extra elbow room.
He who argues for his limitations
gets to keep them.
— Richard Bach
why the stakes are high for me
10 Tips for Christians Supporting Trump
6 Unhelpful Comments That Gaslight People in Conversations About Social Justice
On Women’s Rights: Yeah, Yeah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Whatever
Gaslighting Is a Common Abuse Tactic

When I woke up to the news of the election results on Wednesday morning, my heart was not at rest. I instantly wondered how I’d be able to lead you all in these restorative practices that help us tend to and mend our troubled and aching hearts. I sat in the center of that question HOW?!, knowing I couldn’t succumb to the wave of grief that wanted to pull me under and, ultimately, away from my beloved community.
After processing my feelings with others who share the commitment to create a more equitable and just world, I recognized the synchronicity of both the workshop I attended and the one I had scheduled to teach! Planned months in advance with no thought of the election, I was awed and assured that these had been divinely-arranged to provide skillful understanding, compassion, authentic connection, comfort, and a safe(r) space to explore the root causes of our collective and personal suffering.
I offer Mushim Ikeda’s words again to all who are suffering in the wake of the election. The mix of emotions and the bone-deep tension that has us asking HOW? WHY? WHAT NOW? wreaks havoc on body, heart, and mind.
With this vow, I also widen the invitation to join me this Sunday, 11/13, for refuge and restoration:
I will re-open registration and welcome same-day enrollment.
I will make room for more than 10 participants. Be aware that based on how the space will be used, it still only has the capacity for 15.
I will offer a sliding scale: $5 – $20.
A NOTE ABOUT ACCESSIBILITY + SUSTAINABILITY:
I am called to this “werk” to serve. It is my commitment to skillful livelihood and also the way I sustain myself financially. I also wish to make it accessible for those who would otherwise find it a hardship to pay the full student rate ($10) or general rate ($20). Those who have paid the full registration fee in advance, please know that you make it possible for me to widen the invitation to others.
Please email me at tara@3jewelsyoga.com before Sunday, so I have a proper head count.
SELF-TENDING + RADICAL MENTAL HEALTH CARE + HEALING JUSTICE
My anger, anxiety, disappointment, and grief continue to ebb and flow between moments of being calm and energized to take direct action. Knowing that so many others are feeling ungrounded, fragile and vulnerable, I shared The Icarus Project‘s #FindABuddy form on my Facebook pages yesterday to reach my loved ones who are coping with anxiety, fear, hopelessness, shame, guilt, and a sense of powerlessness that may also be triggering a mental health crisis.
I LOVE YOU ALL too and hope these resources offer an opening for solace to bloom for you and those you love! Take very good care of yourselves.
Icarus Project | Find A Buddy Form
3 Jewels Yoga | Conjuring Grace
adrienne maree brown | Survival Tips for Radical Empaths
It’s been a long, hard day and I’m grateful to have had the container of a Health Equity + Social Justice Workshop to process my outrage, grief, fear and — most surprising to me — an arising MISTRUST!
And I respect my feelings and my mental/spiritual well-being enough to be honest and vocal about the fact that I cannot welcome hope, acceptance, or understanding right now.
I’ve conjured calm, and only calm, in this moment. But it is not peace. Nor am I rushing to get through to the other side of these emotions.
My safety and freedom and that of those I love, who live in the crosshairs of existing with “target group” identities (people of color, immigrants, non-Christian, disabled, gender non-conforming, LGBTQ+, working class, among other marginalized intersections), has been compromised!
That we’ve always been vulnerable is not new. And that, by far, is the scariest: As much as we hope, rally, advocate, model, and assume positions that impact change, we remain vulnerable and targeted. The confederate flags come out in my native #LoveLansing community and around the country in a display that feels too close to reconstructionist era pogroms.
So, yeah, I wanna see er-body’s receipts — those who voted for hate and those who still operate under apathy and deception that their vote doesn’t count. ‘Cause right now, I’m finding it difficult to imagine consciously fostering or continuing relationships with anyone who would act so recklessly to conspire with hate and white supremacy.
Like the Negro Motorist Green Book did for the Jim Crow/Civil Rights generations, I wanna know the local and national businesses that are celebrating this misbegotten “victory” so that I can ensure my resources never reach their coffers.
In Buddhist practice we say congratulations
because now is the time we have been practicing for.
No more just practicing the dance.
We must now dance.
And this is not a dress rehearsal.~ Zenju
Read more responses from Buddhist teachers on Lion’s Roar.
“The Illusion of Time: What’s Real?”
Why is time controversial?
It feels real, always there, inexorably moving forward.
Time has flow, runs like a river.
Time has direction, always advances.
Time has order, one thing after another.
Time has duration, a quantifiable period between events.
Time has a privileged present, only now is real.
Time seems to be the universal background through which all events proceed,
such that order can be sequenced and durations measured.
The question is whether these features are actual realities of the physical world or artificial constructs of human mentality. Time may not be what time seems — this smooth unity without parts, the ever-existing stage on which all happenings happen.
~ Robert Lawrence Kuhn

So what began as a quippy way (below) to remind practitioners that 3 Jewels Yoga Sangha | Fall Series – Week 4 will meet at our regularly scheduled time spiraled into a Zen science lesson…with a lovely poetic twist from Space.com (above)!
“Time is an illusion”…and so the mental trick that is #DaylightSavingTime conspires to throw us off our schedules.
But, thanks to our keen minds and mobile devices that automatically “turn back,” we Zen Ninjas will not be fooled: SANGHA begins at 11 AM or T minus 90 minutes!
See you soon, my friends!
WHAT SCIENCE SAYS ABOUT TIME: The Illusion of Time: What Is Real?

GETTING CLEAR + LOCATING INTENTION
Sangha moved into the first month of our new season with an exercise in beginning anew by shining the light on the essential elements that give shape to our experience of living into community and nurturing spiritual friendship (kalyana-mittata).
We named our individual aspirations and intentions for seeking spiritual connection within a community and clarified the function of sangha — why and how it is formed; what sustains and helps it to thrive. Lastly, I elucidated my history of practice within sangha and how the call to serve as a sangha builder and facilitator has evolved over the years.
Spirituality is something we can cultivate.
To be spiritual means to be solid, calm, and peaceful,
and to be able to look deeply inside and around us.
It means having the capacity to handle our afflictions–
our anger, craving, despair, and discrimination.
It is being able to see the nature of interbeing
between people, nations, races, and all forms of life.
Spirituality is not a luxury anymore;
we need to be spiritual to overcome the difficulties of our time.
~ Thich Nhat Hanh, Friends on The Path
IN FRIENDSHIP + WHOLENESS
As one of the three precious jewels we take refuge in, the sangha conjures for me the image of having “a soft place to land” where we find or restore comfort and ease. We touch it in the physical act of sinking onto our cushions and exhaling fully to re-center, ground, and meet ourselves where we are in a given moment. That soft resting place can also be discovered in the warm embrace of peers who offer compassion and understanding.
Building on that imagery, one practitioner shared that for her it is also a springboard! Indeed, we are buoyed by the lessons of the dharma, the collective energy of our spiritual companions, and our steadfast commitment to cultivate awareness where there is neglect or avoidance, harmony where there is discord, and skillfulness where there is suffering.
Awareness gives rise to Insight. Insight makes Transformation possible. Transformation opens us toward the possibility of Reconciliation. Reconciliation gives way to Liberation. Through all of this a strong sangha can help to energize and equip us! How? By supporting us through the self-inquiry process in which we acknowledge and pay close attention to why we keep showing up: what we gain, give, or give up in the practice.
From our discussion, we lifted up three qualities that sangha offers and also depends upon to thrive.
Capacity-building — Sangha is a container that holds the wisdom of the dharma as well as the collective insights and understandings of the practitioners who constitute it. So it becomes a reservoir that we pour into and drink from, fortifying our capacity for spiritual resilience, liberation, stability, skillfulness, compassion, generosity and love, to name a few faculties. The teachings offer “exercises” in embodied actions that we can test out for ourselves and practice together…releasing, refining, renewing.
Each time we gather, we get to enter into (and build) the revelatory space of silence and breath where our skillful understanding and faculties of concentration, diligence, mindfulness, discernment, and faith have room to bloom. We check in with and bear witness to our emotions, thoughts, physical sensations/well-being, and our interdependent relationship to the world (the many intricate ways we impact it and it impacts us).
We exercise our capacity for skillful communication:
Pausing before we speak to make room for awareness, breath, discomfort, and the processing of information into understanding;
Bowing to one another as an expression of our commitment to offer presence, attention, kindness, patience, and understanding when we speak and listen;
Speaking skillfully from our discernment of what is true, well-timed, kind, helpful/beneficial, and with a mind of good will (Vaca Sutta);
Paying attention to ourselves as we speak and as we listen in order to stay attuned to what is arising in body, heart, and mind;
Listening deeply to our peers to enrich our understanding.
We offer gratitude frequently and genuinely, which anchors us to and expands our hearts as it fosters trust, warmth, empathy, and good vibes among us.
Commitment — To build our capacity and sustain the connections that keep sangha thriving requires our diligence and consistency. The commitment is foremost to ourselves and to the practice. Later, as we earn trust and deepen our connections, our commitment extends to each other.
We looked deeply into the notable challenges of sustaining a commitment to ourselves and our practice, by contemplating an observation offered in Christine Pohl’s book:
“While we might want community, it is often community on our own terms, with easy entrances and exits, lots of choices and support, and minimal responsibilities.”
Many practitioners felt that the suchness of our formation fuels their commitment! The ease of participating and the energy that we collectively generate gives way to the stability upon which our commitment is then built. For those among us who felt compressed by jam-packed schedules and then — pierced deep by arrows of guilt, obligation, judgment — deflated and exhausted, there are no quick and easy solutions. All were encouraged to continue reflecting on intention and then choosing sustainable compassionate actions from this place of clear understanding. To test out what it’s like to open up, honor, and protect the space we hold for our spiritual development and friendship.
Contribution — Without presence, without simply showing up, the sangha would not even be possible. And presence can be enough. Sometimes it is all one has to give. There is no judgment in that. We all arrive at different points on the spiritual path, with different levels of experience and capacity. We value the insight of “beginners mind” — seeing with fresh eyes, throwing out ideas/beliefs/teachings — and the depth and breadth wisdom of from experienced practitioners.
We may not be able to give identically nor always equally. Again, it’s important to emphasize: there is no judgment in that. But we can give in ways that are aligned with our current skills and gifts as well as those that will emerge and become strengthened through practice. Here, we lift up the power of paying attention, telling our stories, listening deeply through our own suffering and discomfort, and extending understanding and compassion to ourselves and others.

This special event provides an opportunity for newcomers to learn about the foundations of our practices and for continuing practitioners to receive a refresher. There will be a chance to share insights, challenges, basic techniques and tips, and to ask questions. Enjoy the full experience or participate in either our regular Sunday morning session or the afternoon’s orientation and refresher.
ALL ARE WELCOME!
Open to those of all faiths + philosophies + religious traditions who wish to cultivate compassion + skillful understanding.
FOUNDATIONS OF PRACTICE
Sitting Meditation + Group Reflection Rooted in the Zen tradition of Thich Nhat Hanh.
♥ Who We Are, Why + How We Practice: 3 jewels yoga sangha
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#WHOLYHAPPYHOUR | 11:00 am – 12:30 pm
Welcome | Centering + Introductions
Call to Mindfulness | Sharing Intentions/Aspirations
Guided Meditation + Silent Practice
Dharma Discussion
Closing/Transition
#IMMERSION | 1:00 – 3:00 PM
Food + Fellowship
Orientation to Foundational Practices — walking meditation, sitting meditation, and the criteria for skillful communication.
Q+A — on foundational practices and sangha’s current study series.
Closing
Some cushions/chairs are available. But if you have your own “sit upons” (cushions/benches/blankets), please bring them!
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DANA/DONATION: $5 – $10
In the Buddhist tradition, contributions are made as a practice of generosity and are joyfully accepted to help sustain the community. Practitioners are welcome to give as they are able — whether donating money, time, or other skillful resources.
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RSVPs REQUIRED:
Via Facebook – Select “Going”
Via Email – tara@3jewelsyoga.com
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PARKING:
Heartdance is located at 1860 E. Michigan Avenue and has a parking lot around the corner on Leslie Street — look for the RED posts. Street parking is also available on Leslie.
I close each meditation with a practice I’ve crafted over the years — with hands to the heart in gassho and a prayer of reflection:
“To honor and acknowledge ourselves and our commitment to self-understanding and well-being.
To honor and acknowledge the practice itself as it reminds us to listen deeply, see clearly and respond skillfully to what arises as it arises.
And, to honor and acknowledge one another for collectively generating the energy of mindfulness, compassion and understanding.”
Today, nowhere near the cushion, I call on this same affirmation to re-center me after a momentary family crisis. Even when others do not share my practice or draw upon similar skills in the face of madness, I honor how being a compassionate witness to their actions can help bring me back to mine.
Exploded and firefighters are two words you don’t want to hear from an unfamiliar caller, informing you that your mother needs you to come over to the house immediately.
Already in the car, heading in the opposite direction, with my husband thankfully behind the wheel. My first response was not to panic but to pause and assess. In reflection, I recognize: This is my brain on mindfulness.
And let me say right now that mindfulness is not a quick fix tool that I acquired after some 6-8 week stress reduction workshop. It is the result of 10-plus years as a dharma practitioner with feet grounded firmly on the Zen path and a lifetime of exploring contemplative spiritual and wellness practices that have helped recalibrate my fiery temperament “to be more able more often” to generate skillful responses.
I’ll be straight up: it doesn’t “work” all the time…
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