on the dharma shelf | december 2016

there are no new ideas, just new ways of giving those ideas we cherish breath and power in our own living.

~ audre lorde 

In a given season I cycle through a stack of books and frequently exchange “currently reading” snap shots with my circle of family and friends. What and when I read depends both on mood/instinct and whose voice/ideas feel most compelling. It is a discernment that inevitably leads to discovering the message I most needed to hear!  

This list comprises books that were long-ago gifted or recently rediscovered that I am re-reading(*) with fresh eyes after many years. Others were recommended or “manifested” at the right time — namely, from the juju-magick of a kiosk at my local library branch where books I don’t even know I’m looking for seem to auspiciously materialize as I pass by!

  • Sister Outsider | Audre Lorde
  • Reading the Bible Again for the First Time | Marcus J. Borg
  • The Gilda Stories* | Jewelle Gomez
  • Just Mercy: A Story of Justice + Redemption | Bryan Stevenson
  • Radical Dharma: Talking Race, Love, + Liberation | Rev. angel Kyodo williams, Lama Rod Owens, Jasmine Syedullah
  • How To Free Your Mind: Tara the Liberator* | Thubten Chodron

on the danger of delusion + co-signing craziness

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Requiem: Prelude, Coda, Encore 

This. Againa million hoodies, a million hearts: metta behind the movement for trayvon martin.

I didn’t know where to physically place this section in the body of this writing. An overlapping marker on the timestream — the beginning, the end, the looping back to repeat for impact and emphasis — it wasn’t a part of the original thought-piece (consciously, anyway).

Read it as you will: first, for a sneak peek; or last as a behind-the-scene bonus. Either way, I offer it as insight into process and synchronicity.

Eager though I was to get these pressing thoughts out of my head, there is something to be said for respecting intuition. For cultivating shamatha. Pausing, stepping away, and allowing things to simmer and deepen when you sense your work needs more time to stew (like any slow-cooked dish).  In those days between drafts, I got a ping-back notifying me that another site had linked to the piece I’d written four years ago. Turns out Baltimore + Beyond: Mindfulness Community had just added a million hoodies, a million hearts to its updated list of selected dharma readings to be shared at its activists and people of color gatherings. 

I had not read it since 2012 and was astonished that I could have just as easily written yesterday about James Means or Joe McKnight and all the others like Sandra Bland and Rekia Boyd whose names have become engraved upon our wailing hearts.

Understand then — yes, really dwell in the cries of despair and protest and the calls for action until clear comprehension prevails — why being here, stuck in this maniacal cycle is fucking tiresome. To exist in it and to constantly have to explain it to people who have not the ears to hear or hearts to feel. We are weary. But we are (getting) ready.

Cutting Through

We cannot afford to participate in the delusion
that we are absolutely powerless,
that change can happen without us,
that our fears are over-hyped,
that things will be alright,
that our right to protect our well-being
should take a backseat to playing nice
in the face of bigotry, violence, and injustice.
These times are too dangerous to co-sign craziness.
I cannot, will not, and unabashedly refuse do it.
And my loved ones, who hear me say this repeatedly, will attest that this is more than a favored turn-of-phrase.
Not co-signing craziness is at the heart of my commitment to the work of being a good spiritual friend!

This is the craziness that manifests as willful ignorance, denial, and delusion in our personal lives as well as in the world-at-large.

In our current state of crisis where cultural warfare is being waged against Otherness, it is the absurdity that refuses to see how quickly the vile rhetoric spewed throughout the campaign has become reality in the form of bold-faced white supremacists being appointed to key roles of leadership in the new (return-to-the-dark-ages) administration.

It is the problematic hushed-and-haloed spiritual and inspirational messaging (gaslighting wrapped in sanctimony), blanketly chiding the wounded:

to transcend anger because we’re bigger than that,
to not abandon or “throw away” folks who don’t regard humanity as we do,
to try to understand those who refuse to understand us,
to yield to our divine capacity for open-heartedness and forgiveness for they know not what they do…because they are suffering too,
to trust thin assurances that — guys, c’mon — it’s only class resentment.

Let’s get very clear:

Resentment is a near-enemy of hateResentment + Implicit Bias = A Gateway to the -Isms.

And through that narrow passage, it is a short walk to discrimination, bigotry, and the bartering of lives for the false promise of economic and job security from a racist, homophobic, misogynistic, xenophobe with no basic skills in decency and civility, let alone diplomacy.

Sorry, folks, platitudes and passivity cannot transform hate and delusion.


“And this deluded person, overcome by delusion, his mind possessed by delusion, kills living beings, takes what is not given, goes after another person’s wife, tells lies, and induces others to do likewise, all of which is for long-term harm & suffering.”

“Yes, lord.”
“So what do you think, Kalamas: Are these qualities skillful or unskillful?”
“Unskillful, lord.”
“Blameworthy or blameless?”
“Blameworthy, lord.”
“Criticized by the wise or praised by the wise?”
“Criticized by the wise, lord.”
“When adopted & carried out, do they lead to harm & to suffering, or not?”
“When adopted & carried out, they lead to harm & to suffering. That is how it appears to us.”

“So, as I said, Kalamas:
‘Don’t go by reports, by legends, by traditions, by scripture, by logical conjecture, by inference, by analogies, by agreement through pondering views, by probability, or by the thought, “This contemplative is our teacher.”

When you know for yourselves that, “These qualities are unskillful; these qualities are blameworthy; these qualities are criticized by the wise; these qualities, when adopted & carried out, lead to harm & to suffering” — then you should abandon them.’
Thus was it said. And in reference to this was it said.

“Now, Kalamas, don’t go by reports, by legends, by traditions, by scripture, by logical conjecture, by inference, by analogies, by agreement through pondering views, by probability, or by the thought, ‘This contemplative is our teacher.’

When you know for yourselves that, ‘These qualities are skillful; these qualities are blameless; these qualities are praised by the wise; these qualities, when adopted & carried out, lead to welfare & to happiness’ — then you should enter & remain in them.

from the “Kalama Sutta: To the Kalamas” (AN 3.65),
translated from Pali by Thanissaro Bhikku


Now is the time to unburden ourselves. To release the fetters that bind us to a dysfunctional codependency on a corrupt system that has plotted for centuries to diminish our agency, deny our wholeness, and compromise our right to survive and thrive. To get clear. To get equipped. To get connected to good spiritual friends who are willing to leverage their privilege to aid and abet us as accomplices on the path to anti-oppression and liberation.

______

straight outta the dhamma:

In the foundational Buddhist tome, Visuddhimagga, the commentaries on the Divine Abodes (brahma-viharas) make reference to the “near” and “far” (or remote) enemies of these four esteemed virtues — love, compassion, sympathetic joy, and equanimity. Near enemies bear such close resemblance to the virtue itself that it is easy to miss the unskillful dimensions. On the other hand, far enemies are easily recognized as the opposite of the virtue. For example, pity can be seen as a near enemy of compassion and apathy its far enemy.

for more skillful understanding:

Implicit Bias

White Privilege, Resentment + Politics

 

the eightfold path: on skillful understanding + skillful thinking

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Sangha is studying how we “live into community” and the purpose of gathering as spiritual friends to build our capacity for skillfulness and resilience. To that end, we’re contemplating the Eightfold Path as a set of embodied practices that help us develop wisdom, ethical action, and various faculties that support our meditation.

The Eightfold Path is the fourth of the 4 Noble Truths:

There is Suffering.
There are Causes of Suffering (craving/attachment).
There is an End of Suffering.
The Noble Path is the End of Suffering.

Taking these meaty topics one by one and spending two sessions covering each (and allowing for overlaps as they are inextricably linked), we are inching our way from Skillful Understanding toward Skillful Thinking.

Skillful Understanding blooms from cultivating a receptive “big picture, fine detail” mind that sees clearly into the nature or roots of things as they arise. For example, having a skillful understanding of the 4 Noble Truths — being able to look deeply into each of these statements, turn them over, test them against experience, and create skillful actions based on this understanding.

Skillful Thinking is informed by Skillful Understanding. It is the active mind that generates wise responses to what arises, i.e. seeing the roots and conditions that create my anger in the moment and discerning how to tend to my anger.

How then do we develop these two wisdom aspects of the Eightfold Path? By asking, in our meditations, contemplations, and dharma discussions with friends:

What Is This? Is This True? Am I Sure? Is There More?

_____________

a note about semantic preference

I have a particular fondness for the use of the word skillful here as a qualifier to describe each practice of the eightfold path; whereas, readers of the Buddhist Canon will most commonly see them framed by the term “right” from the Pali word sammā.

I recall first encountering the application of the word skillful to the eightfold path back in the Spring of 2005 in Buddhism for Mothers (which was an inspiring source of guidance for me, as a fairly new auntie who was closely engaged in the care of my first-born niece…and in extending patience to her very young parents). I was enthralled by the word and immediately used it in place of “right” because of its expansive quality.

It moves us beyond the dichotomous “either/or” world view of the ultimate two — right and wrong. And into the vast field of potential where we train toward our mastery of these spiritual capacities. Where there is room for beginning — clumsy, uncertain, doubtful, resistant; for gradually becoming proficient; and for continuously growing in our competency.

I recently discussed this over coffee with a dharma friend who is a Buddhist teacher, who prefers to use wise instead. Albeit more liberating even that, I admitted to her, feels finite. And worrisome to those (particularly younger practitioners) who wonder if being wise is strictly relegated to the loathsome domain of adulting…that wisdom precludes all lapses in skillfulness. So it can become an aspiration to get to. Someday.

As one who has been a spiritual seeker all my life, I am living into my aspiration to be a wise elder right now. It has not merely been a matter of adulting or aging or waiting for my hair to become gray enough for others to perceive me as wise. Wisdom has blossomed from years of deep inquiry and of meeting, owning, and transforming my unskillfulness, again and again, until skillful, compassionate actions become an effortless response to the world around me. 

 

other liberating actions of  the eightfold path

on skillful understanding + skillful thinking
on skillful effort, skillful mindfulness + skillful concentration

restoring memory

On this Sunday without Sangha, a memory from last year (27 Nov 2015 — the day after Thanksgiving) popped up on my Facebook newsfeed.

A verse inspired by a beloved park trail where I’ve logged countless miles in a walking-running-praying meditation and, a hundred times over, awakened curiosity and understanding and mapped pathways toward reconciliation.

❤ today, another verse for remembering to remember…for tending to our wholeness and seeing a feast in all things:

i walk for clarity 

to release those deep + wordless groanings
that tense my muscles, pluck-stretch my nerves, + accelerate my pulse.

movement is prayer — pleading, seeking, remembering, communing,
soothing heart + spirit

is it my favorite posture of meditation — fine-tuning my capacity to listen, discern, + take skillful, compassion-centered action

clearing up space for love-wisdom to prevail

#TouchingTheEarth #EmbodiedPrayer #EmbodiedWisdom #TheHeartAtRest

❤ a prayer for remembering ❤

Related:

Native American Girls Describe the Real History Behind Thanksgiving via Teen Vogue

The History of Thanksgiving You Weren’t Taught In School via attn:

skillful communication | anti-oppressive communication webinar

 

Anti-Oppressive Communication Webinar
with Autumn Brown + Maryse Mitchell-Brody
Icarus Project

 

embodying privilege + risk: the stakes is high

Some folks may not quite understand why the stakes are so high for me and those I love.

I am aware of my privileges:

I am educated. I attended a private boarding school and a private university where I earned both a Bachelor’s and a Master’s degree.
I am a U.S-born person whose 1st language is English.
I am a cis-gendered heterosexual.
I am married.
I do not live with a disability.

I also embody a space where the targeted and marginalized aspects of my identity make me vulnerable to practices, policies, and dominant cultural beliefs that have denied or would attempt to block my humanity as well as my civil rights:

I am a Black Woman.

I am the daughter of an immigrant.
My father is from Trinidad. His family has roots throughout the Caribbean.

The great-granddaughter of immigrants.
My maternal great-grandparents were Canadian.

The great-great granddaughter of an immigrant.
My maternal great-great grandmother was a German Jew who married a former slave and Civil War veteran.* 

I am the mother of a bi-racial, multi-ethnic child.
I am the wife of a man who has a disability.
We live on a fixed income.

I am a Buddhist.
I am committed to the path of compassion and liberation for myself and others.
I come from generations of women who have held positions of service in the social work, education, and public health fields.
It’s in my DNA to give a damn.

I know and love people who are targeted and vulnerable.
I know and love people who know and love people who are targeted and vulnerable:

Immigrants, non-native English speakers, lesbian, gay, same-gender loving, transgender, gender non-conforming, elderly, poor, uneducated, disabled, Muslim, Jewish, of other non-JudeoChristian faiths, atheist, agnostic and more…

I have every reason to be mad and every reason to wish to protect myself and those I love from harm!  I am committed to social justice, equity, and reconciliation. It takes emboldened truth-telling. Even as I uphold the criteria for skillful communication, I will not be silent or soft to make anyone feel more comfortable.
______

*For the curious or surprised, I offer two insights:
The family history I compiled and the regional ancestry results of my genographic test, which my reflect a genetic composition that is 65% Sub-Saharan African, 13% Mediterranean, 12% North European, 5% South African, 5% Southwest Asian.

I share these results not to diminish my Blackness but to illustrate interdependence and just how bound to one another we are.
______

A Few Places To Start:

10 Tips for Christians Supporting Trump

Allies For Change Glossary

Matrix of Oppression

Teaching Tolerance

White Privilege: Unpacking The Invisible Knapsack

the empty seat at your table

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It’s astonishing that people are actually coming out of their faces to say that voters didn’t intend to cause harm or to condone violence when they elected a demagogue.

Please tell me what multiverse are you living in?

That man’s racist, homophobic, misogynistic, xenophobic, anti-Muslim, anti-disabled, anti-poor, anti-everybody-who-has-a-heart-for-what-is-just-and-equitable rants were not whispered behind closed doors and later leaked into the public sphere after folks were good-and-bamboozled by his charisma and hope-filled messages.

He was loud, boisterous and unapologetic about his oppressive views. He attracted and continues to be endorsed, lauded, now flaunted and paraded by white supremacists with confederate flags, swastikas, and full KKK regalia.

The hate and violence that fueled the campaign has escalated since Tuesday.

His “win” has become a “license to lynch” — with numerous accounts of children, women, LGBTQ persons being physically attacked, taunted, harassed and threatened.

(I will not link those articles here. Instead, I encourage you to take good care of your mental/emotional well-being with your consumption of these images and stories. You can be informed without overexposing yourself to the toxicity).

The terror is real. The breech of trust is real. It is happening in your neighborhoods and schools and was, in fact, sanctioned by decent, well-intentioned folk who just wanted to “Make America Great Again”…nevermind the true cost.

I’m intelligent enough to get it. I’m committed to skillful understanding and have the capacity to see through my outrage and fear to look into theirs.

I know they felt seen, heard, and understood for the first time by, unfortunately, a “pulls-no-punches,” plain (and vulgar) language-talking reality-tv tycoon who, unlike the career politicians we’re accustomed to, doesn’t fit neatly into the shiny 4-cornered presidential candidate box.

Yes, our system is broken. Yes, it often feels like two steps forward, 10 back.

But you can’t set my house on fire just because you think it’s a raggedy eyesore blocking your view, then say “whoopsie!” when you realize I was still inside.

(By the way, the flames are raging because you keep adding more accelerant.)


What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul?
–Matthew 16:26 NIV


Now here comes the cultural gaslighting — from the passive-aggressive (“We’ve survived 44 other presidents. It’s not the end of the world.”) to the outright manipulative dismissals and trivializations (“You’re exaggerating. It’s not that bad.”). In. The. Face. Of. Facts!

Beyond the undeniable evidence of these egregious acts of violence, there remain personal truths. And, I refuse to let you tell me what my experience is or should be.

Own your actions. Own the consequences of your vote.

If you voted for hate, just look me in the eye and say: Fuck you, Tara, and every breath that you take! so I know where we stand.

Understand that with your vote, you were willing to risk not just relationships with people you know and love, but to also risk the safety and very basic human rights to millions of people who, like you, simply want to live.

You cannot be surprised or offended that relationships have been lost or compromised.

You wanted more for yourself? You got it!
Look across the table to the empty seat.
Feast on what remains when your friends, neighbors, and family decline your invitation to break bread. They deserve to protect themselves from being exposed to the consequences of your self-interest.

And if you’re in any way moved by their absence, it’s time to examine your discomfort.
If not, well, then enjoy the extra elbow room.


He who argues for his limitations
gets to keep them.
— Richard Bach


suprised? curious? confused?

why the stakes are high for me

10 Tips for Christians Supporting Trump

more on gaslighting

6 Unhelpful Comments That Gaslight People in Conversations About Social Justice

On Women’s Rights: Yeah, Yeah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Whatever

Gaslighting Is a Common Abuse Tactic

The GOP front-runner is Gaslighting Us


cradle your hearts: post-election refuge, restoration + radical rest

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When I woke up to the news of the election results on Wednesday morning, my heart was not at rest. I instantly wondered how I’d be able to lead you all in these restorative practices that help us tend to and mend our troubled and aching hearts. I sat in the center of that question HOW?!, knowing I couldn’t succumb to the wave of grief that wanted to pull me under and, ultimately, away from my beloved community.

After processing my feelings with others who share the commitment to create a more equitable and just world, I recognized the synchronicity of both the workshop I attended and the one I had scheduled to teach! Planned months in advance with no thought of the election, I was awed and assured that these had been divinely-arranged to provide skillful understanding, compassion, authentic connection, comfort, and a safe(r) space to explore the root causes of our collective and personal suffering.

I offer Mushim Ikeda’s words again to all who are suffering in the wake of the election. The mix of emotions and the bone-deep tension that has us asking HOW? WHY? WHAT NOW? wreaks havoc on body, heart, and mind.

With this vow, I also widen the invitation to join me this Sunday, 11/13, for refuge and restoration:

  I will re-open registration and welcome same-day enrollment.

 I will make room for more than 10 participants. Be aware that based on how the space will be used, it still only has the capacity for 15.

  I will offer a sliding scale: $5 – $20.

 A NOTE ABOUT ACCESSIBILITY + SUSTAINABILITY:

I am called to this “werk” to serve. It is my commitment to skillful livelihood and also the way I sustain myself financially. I also wish to make it accessible for those who would otherwise find it a hardship to pay the full student rate ($10) or general rate ($20). Those who have paid the full registration fee in advance, please know that you make it possible for me to widen the invitation to others.

  Please email me at tara@3jewelsyoga.com before Sunday, so I have a              proper head count.


SELF-TENDING + RADICAL MENTAL HEALTH CARE + HEALING JUSTICE

My anger, anxiety, disappointment, and grief continue to ebb and flow between moments of being calm and energized to take direct action. Knowing that so many others are feeling ungrounded, fragile and vulnerable, I shared The Icarus Project‘s #FindABuddy form on my Facebook pages yesterday to reach my loved ones who are coping with anxiety, fear, hopelessness, shame, guilt, and a sense of powerlessness that may also be triggering a mental health crisis.

I LOVE YOU ALL too and hope these resources offer an opening for solace to bloom for you and those you love! Take very good care of yourselves.

Icarus Project | Find A Buddy Form
3 Jewels Yoga | Conjuring Grace
adrienne maree brown | Survival Tips for Radical Empaths

show me ya ballot: the devil you know

It’s been a long, hard day and I’m grateful to have had the container of a Health Equity + Social Justice Workshop to process my outrage, grief, fear and — most surprising to me — an arising MISTRUST!

And I respect my feelings and my mental/spiritual well-being enough to be honest and vocal about the fact that I cannot welcome hope, acceptance, or understanding right now.

I’ve conjured calm, and only calm, in this moment. But it is not peace. Nor am I rushing to get through to the other side of these emotions.

My safety and freedom and that of those I love, who live in the crosshairs of existing with “target group” identities (people of color, immigrants, non-Christian, disabled, gender non-conforming, LGBTQ+, working class, among other marginalized intersections), has been compromised!

That we’ve always been vulnerable is not new. And that, by far, is the scariest: As much as we hope, rally, advocate, model, and assume positions that impact change, we remain vulnerable and targeted. The confederate flags come out in my native #LoveLansing community and around the country in a display that feels too close to reconstructionist era pogroms.

So, yeah, I wanna see er-body’s receipts — those who voted for hate and those who still operate under apathy and deception that their vote doesn’t count. ‘Cause right now, I’m finding it difficult to imagine consciously fostering or continuing relationships with anyone who would act so recklessly to conspire with hate and white supremacy.

Like the Negro Motorist Green Book did for the Jim Crow/Civil Rights generations, I wanna know the local and national businesses that are celebrating this misbegotten “victory” so that I can ensure my resources never reach their coffers.

In Buddhist practice we say congratulations
because now is the time we have been practicing for. 

No more just practicing the dance.
We must now dance.
And this is not a dress rehearsal.

~ Zenju

Read more responses from Buddhist teachers on Lion’s Roar.

who are these people?

I have no more words…

t scott-miller's avatardhamma for mama*

It’s been so hard to get out of bed feeling like the biggest hate crime has just been committed as this country was overwhelmingly motivated to vote on the side of racism, misogyny, xenophobia, inhumanity and overall terror.

And still I move against the weight of this devastation and dread to attend the second day of a health equity and social justice workshop where I am observing and participating as a facilitator-in-training. Trying to conjure a lasting remedy for the heartache, anger, mistrust…I am literally sick to my stomach and only managing to smile because of the joy my child exudes.

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